Haiku Today

Asparagus sprigs When eaten, make your pee smell And also you...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 11:24:00 -0500

Asparagus sprigs
When eaten, make your pee smell
And also you poo
Double Whammy-JM

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Sunny June morning Beautiful for a wedding Or a bad...

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 11:43:00 -0500

Sunny June morning
Beautiful for a wedding
Or a bad divorce
Independently Beautiful-JM

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I’ve got a feelin’ That tonight’s gonna be...

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 11:54:00 -0500

I’ve got a feelin’
That tonight’s gonna be a
Time to mock the Peas
Black Eyed Peas-JM

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Dear Tiger Woods, your Name implies good reflexes Trees are made...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:53:00 -0500

Dear Tiger Woods, your
Name implies good reflexes
Trees are made of wood
Something fishy going on-JM

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Smug bracket winner Picked all the Final Four teams At least...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 23:08:00 -0500

Smug bracket winner
Picked all the Final Four teams
At least I’m not bald!
The Final Word on March Madness-JM

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Chip on her shoulder Years of neglect and hate? No It’s a...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:50:37 -0500

Chip on her shoulder
Years of neglect and hate? No
It’s a Dorito.
Hard Fact-JM

Dear Mr. Meathead, Protein loving, yolked, tan. But You smell...

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Dear Mr. Meathead,
Protein loving, yolked, tan. But
You smell like pennies
Copper Muscles-JM

Who passed gas? Yes, me. But let’s consider that...

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Who passed gas? Yes, me.
But let’s consider that smell
Punitive damage
Flatulence Deterrent-JM

Mom’s Buick Skylark 6 pimply boys, tunes, State St. Luck...

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Mom’s Buick Skylark
6 pimply boys, tunes, State St.
Luck needed, to get chicks
Buicks Don’t Help with Ladies-JM

You’re out of a job Feel free to take those pens...

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 07:00:00 -0500

You’re out of a job
Feel free to take those pens though
When you pack your things
Gee, Thanks Mr. The Man-JM

“Beep” you? Ok, sure. So I call the number...

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:00:00 -0500

“Beep” you? Ok, sure.
So I call the number here?
Then….then what happens?
My Grandpa had a Beeper Too-JM

10 year reunion That a pen in your pocket? It is? Ok....

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 00:00:00 -0500

10 year reunion
That a pen in your pocket?
It is? Ok. Good.
Awkward but Relieving-JM

Internal rumblings Massive, foul eructation Belch smelt round...

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Internal rumblings
Massive, foul eructation
Belch smelt round the world
Four Chili Cheese Dogs = Indigestion-JM

Obedient, if Boring, Canine

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 07:00:00 -0500

A dog with no legs
“Lay down. Laay down! Now Stay. Staaaay!”
(He’s very well-trained)
Obedient, if Boring, Canine-JM

Underhanded Compliment

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 07:00:00 -0500

Don’t worry ‘bout it
That one had a lot of spin
Ping pong, a hard game
Underhanded Compliment-JM

Wow, you’re flexible Guess you don’t need...

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Wow, you’re flexible
Guess you don’t need pedicures
When you can do that
Toenail biter-JM

Poker, 2 am A dozen or so drinks down I’m all in...

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Poker, 2 am
A dozen or so drinks down
I’m all in suckers!
But he didn’t say “Suckers”-JM

Lunch Invitation Honored? Yes. But allergic To eating...

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Lunch Invitation
Honored? Yes. But allergic
To eating rodents
140 lb. Rat for Lunch…Really.-JM

Inspiration

Use it or Lose it Sister!

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 12:55:33 -0500

You begged me for it
Comment functionality
On Haiku Today
Use it or lose it sister!-JM

Saturday I learned Never trust an accountant Who wears bolo...

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Saturday I learned
Never trust an accountant
Who wears bolo ties
Accessorized Money-watcher-JM

Inspiration